We Have to Fire the Kids (Remiet #4)
27 Mar 2023Jack Remiet
It was the fourth run that did it.It was over a minute after Hamilton came to before he realized he was sobbing, and that's why he couldn't breathe right. His face hurt. His right cheek. He put his hand there, but it came away clean. No laceration, then. He'd clearly fallen, though. He righted himself. Where was he? His quarters. Right. He'd come here after the second jump. As XO he had his own private head. He'd gone there to vomit and then stood up too quickly and fallen.
Right.
The ship was quiet. They were in Supercruise still, then. He'd only been out a few minutes. His face was still wet. Was he still crying? Part of him wanted to return to the head and wash his face while another urged him to his bunk. Instead he stood there, frozen. After a few minutes, or hours--Hamilton couldn't say--he heard the door chime. He already knew it was Jack. "Yeah, come in," Hamilton heard himself say.
If Hamilton took notice of Jack's look of alarm upon seeing him, he didn't indicate it. Regardless, Jack pulled Hamilton to the bunk, handed him a thermos of water, and sat directly next to him. Hamilton gulped eagerly, then cradled the bottle to his stomach and stared straight ahead.
Jack sighed. "The second shutdown field," he said. Hamilton nodded. "Yeah," Jack allowed quietly. "Me too." They sat in silence for a moment.
"I thought that was it," Hamilton said finally. "It was just chaos outside. I saw the cracks in the canopy. I'd stopped..." he trailed off. Jack didn't pursue the thread. "Even when the power came back... I still don't understand how we got in. I still thought--"
They let the silence hang, and not uncomfortably. Jack put his hand on Hamilton's shoulder and squeezed it before standing up.
"If it makes you feel any better, I puked before coming down here," Jack said. He sighed.
"We can't take the kids with us again, Jack." Hamilton tilted his head up. He knew O, Bug, and Mona were no longer children. But they were still young, still had decades stretching out before them. He and Jack were old and getting older. They'd done what had to be done, prepared their children the best they could. If someone had to fight the Xenos directly, let it be this generation. "We can't do this anymore."
"We aren't," Jack replied in a heartbeat. "This was the last time." Hamilton stared at him, not quite trusting; Jack met his friend's gaze. "I know, Hamilton. We've done our job getting them this far. They need their chance to go farther."
"Well, let's get back to port and fire our kids, then," Hamilton said, rising. He was almost surprised by Jack's wry smile.