Hope or Madness?
15 Feb 2024Jana Razeki
Personal log, Jana RazekiFebruary 15, 3310
Audio´´|Text transcript available
Where to start this one off... got a few things to cover. More than a few, even.
Starting with engineers, I guess. I decided to start being a little active on the Anti-Club Accord's comms network, and would you have guessed it, someone did respond trying to help me with that. Or, at least, make me come to a decision. I'll spare you the details of the conversation - it's enough to say that this John Redhand thought I should focus on just getting those 'tools' and do good with them. or against 'my enemies'. Also asked about those modified Guardian weapons - got the same answer.
So, yeah. Maybe he was right about it. I didn't sell out to the Empire or the Feds, of course - that's always going to remain off limits. And I still felt a bit shitty about having to sell some - admittedly, practically worthless - scans of already known worlds to Sirius and Azimuth, but I guess I can always do something about that later. And it's opened up the option of paying Professor Palin a visit for thruster engineering... once I've covered the stupid five-thousand light year demand of his. Like that proves anything, I could just hop on a fleet carrier, do a jump and pretend I flew out there myself.
Anyway, speaking of this Redhand guy - he's a mad idiot if I've ever seen one. Then again, so am I, because he asked me to drop him on an ammonia world circled by a Titan, and I agreed, for some godforsaken... thing. An ancient armor blueprint. Or at least, old, not that I know how old. I think he said something like a hundred years when I went back there to pick that mad man up again and demanded some answers, since he thought dragging a stranger into it was a good idea. Maybe I thought I owed him for 'solving' that moral dilemma I had.
Didn't learn that much besides that he was part of some anti-Fed rebellion and that this stuff was theirs, buried in some place nobody would think to look for human things. Supposedly, they wanted it back and him recovering it is part of some trial to be accepted back into it after he was thrown out, because they think he shot their "comrades" in cold blood when they were - apparently - controlled by some weird mind parasite. Beyond my paygrade, so I don't feel like concerning myself with it more. Maybe not the smartest idea to put into a recording, but if they have an issue, they should take it out on him and not me. I hate the Feds, anyway, so they'd have at least some reason and a better chance to ask me about kicking up dust around Federal space. or to stop them from reaching out with their grubby fingers further.
But enough of that. I had a few test runs with the modified shard cannons every AX pilot who could get their hands on them loved to talk about. Turns out, for good reason, because those things pack one hell of a punch - would have loved to buy them off Aegis instead of the idiots that created a need for them in the first place. Even a Medusa's armor only mitigates their damage so much... they do begin to struggle with Hydras once those big bastards show their faces. And I happened to be the only independent pilot at an attacked port near Titan Oya in those relatively early morning hours... well, at least, it was by Earth clock. Was just me and the local defense forces for a few hours.
Maybe I'm just a little too insane or stubborn for my own good but I decided to try helping them take on those Hydras... one at a time, kind of. Tried to alternate between both of them while one Hydra's shield was up, wearing down one while the other had its shield up from losing a heart. Going into that... I thought I wouldn't stand much of a chance, but it turned out that those cannons are actually still not that bad... if I remained persistent and on target well enough.
Had it been an open space encounter - I'm not sure I'd be recording this log now, or I'd quickly have had to bail. But being around that planetary station, where those shitty Thargon swarms are not around, and having the ability to get quick repairs and rearming done 'in the field', turned it into a battle of attrition, with attrition working against the Thargoids for once. One that took a few hours, and a few close calls. One of those being when one Hydra caught me in its lightning while the other was shooting me. And I barely managed to avoid the second one zapping my ship. I tried to keep them split up from one another, but that was much easier said than done. Especially when both of them turned their attention back to the port after slaughtering more of the local reinforcements.
Hell, those pilots... do they actually fly inside their ships? I never seem to see them launch out in any pods. Or they don't want to risk getting captured and prefer death. No idea. Maybe I shouldn't think about it too much... they did at least help me by distracting those Hydras every now and then when I didn't quite manage to bring a heart down before running out of heat sinks, or if I had to get it exerted twice and the first time happened while the Hydra was trying to carve up another ship. Damn, those bastards are tough. Have to say it, though, finally bringing them down was... something. Probably won't forget that one in a hurry.
Hm... yeah, anyway. When I visited Kira (or Kasumi)... when was that again? Some time last month, I kind of happened to notice another familiar name on a list of hospital inmates. Or someone told me, I honestly can't remember how I got to that information - wish that was one part of my brain that got less messed up. I don't feel like you could just 'find' something like that without hacking into something, because of privacy and all that. And I don't even have much of a clue how to code, let alone break into it. Nor would I, especially not for that.
... let me get back on track. So, I decided to pay the local hospital at the Aegis headquarters a visit and looked for a certain 'Ina Muir' who looked oddly like that 'Ina' I met in that definitely ordinary and totally not weird VR adventure of three socially non-conforming idiots, and that AXDF officer who led the charge against the Hadad Titan to recover Kira. Turned out that that's one part of my memory which still does its job, and it was her.
Unfortunately, I couldn't actually go see her, and the doctor in charge of her was really busy in some kind of intensive care unit, so I just had to leave a little word saying I'd wanted to come by and hoped for a quick recovery. Or whatever you say to a hospital patient. No one could tell me exactly what'd happened, because of classified stuff, but it didn't exactly inspire me with confidence. or the looks on the face of the receptionist didn't when I described who I was looking for, nor that of the doctor who was free at the time and spared a minute for me. I didn't feel like pushing further on any details, be that because of respect of privacy or not wanting to know.
Other than that Hydra incident I mentioned above, it's more or less been the same old trend the last few weeks have set into motion on the Thargoid front. More invasions, more dead or missing people, more lost systems. I've been thinking about continuing to prepare for some ventures off into Thargoid-controlled territory as there always seems to be someone asking for lost items, data or whatever they want from military sites in those lost systems. And my current gear for that kind of venture is... horribly inadequate. I might get or be able to sneak past a few Revenants, but if there's a Banshee around? I'm not sure a Scorpion is a match for those flying tanks, and it's almost impossible to not be seen on the way in by one of those. People have supposedly had some success getting under it on foot and shooting some soft spots on its underbelly, or that weird 'engine' turbine thing it's got at the back, but that sounds a little crazy for me. Not sure I'd feel comfortable doing that, especially with as low-grade gear as I've got.
Speaking of those Banshees, I did contribute to the initiative to deliver spire materials to Palin for his anti-Titan weapon. Or the armor for it, at least. And barely - the initiative was already about to meet its highest target goal on Sunday, I think it was, the one from two weeks ago, when I'd gathered about some thirty-two tons of the coral sap from an inactive site. I think someone at Aegis forgot to mention or hasn't noticed that those produce a small amount of the minerals and still a bunch of that weird sap even when the Thargoids aren't running those... factories, I guess they are? Not a clue. That's what Palin said and I've got little reason to doubt the man's judgement on that subject.
Aaaanyway... one last thing I wanted to mention was that matter of getting to the Titans themselves. Or, at least, that was my plan before Aegis announced the initiative to make those Guardian nanite torpedoes to use against the Titans right after I started recording this log. My plan is - well, it's stuck on the engineer hurdle at the moment, because I want as much speed as I can push out of the Krait to get the necessary stuff for the caustic sink so that means getting access to Palin. But going that far out of the Bubble isn't really one of my favorite activities to pass time.
But yeah, the plan. Get the caustic sink and that pulse neutralizer, then try to get some pods pulled out of Titan Oya, whatever little amounts I can bring out of there. Even more important when everyone is really in a rush to get those big Titan-poking sticks built. I don't really know what 'nanites' are but some people don't seem to like the idea of them. Nanomachines, or some variant thereof, I guess. I have my questions about how that weapon is going to work when it was only discovered through relics inserted into Thargoid surface sites turning green instead of getting vaporized - how do we know the Titans can't do the same to neutralize them? - but what's more important... what will happen to the captives when a Titan gets damaged or, god forbid, destroyed? Are we going to kill them too, or cause the Thargoids to do something more drastic with them?
I don't know, but I don't think I want to just sit around and find out. If I get around to it I'll support the initiative to get those weapons made, of course, but my main priorities might be elsewhere. If one of my friends is still alive on that Titan, I want to have tried to get them out of there. If I can even still hold on to that hope.
I also still hope we're not making things worse for ourselves. But if that weapon doesn't work as we intend it to and it just makes the Titans really mad or something else goes wrong... well, to be honest, I'm not sure if I should feel hopeful that this puts an end to the invasion of the Thargoids, or if we're about to cause a madness that makes the Proteus Wave look like a dim star in the night sky.
I think I should just get back to it now.
[Recording ended. Commencing upload and archival procedure ...]
[Additional note found.]
PS - I guess if that weapon doesn't work so well against the Titans, hopefully it might then make for something good against the baseline Thargoid ships. Would at least be better than Aegis wasting all of that time and effort on something totally useless...