Logbook entry

Chasing Ghosts XII: Various Methods of Escape

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"Hallucinate in high fidelity
The pieces of a plan
Construction of the highest quality
The blood from my own hand
A line of lyric looping in my head
Nobody listening
It doesn't really matter anymore
Guess it doesn't mean a thing

An effigy so wondrous to behold
A statement so profound
A place to bury everything I did
And burn it to the ground
The fire illuminates the final scene
The past repeats itself
I cannot tell the difference anymore
I cannot trust myself

I think I could lose myself in here

I've got to let go
I've got to get straight
Why'd you have to make it so hard?
Let me get away"

"It was dark and silent. A part of me wished to stay"

"When I opened my eyes, Vega was gone and I felt emptier."

“I was lying.”

“I was lying.”

“I was lying.”

"There I stood looking over the edge"

"No chance of escape. Besides, I wasn't sure I even wanted to escape"

"I was so tired. I felt like I'd been running from something."

"It didn't help. The voice in my head felt like someone else."

"Traversing into the labyrinth of hallways, it grew progressively darker the further I went."

"I'd been deceived multiple times by now, whether that was purposeful or not was up for debate."

"I closed my eyes. There it was, that oh-so-familiar feeling."

"I was simultaneously the most content I’d ever been and the most disconnected from reality I had ever been."

The dark void and I met once again, perhaps for the final time. Besides, that's what I had wanted deep down. Pure nothingness. Feel nothing, see, hear, taste nothing. It was peaceful. Not like a "sitting in the park of the hab ring of a station" kind of peaceful. No, something different. Just as I had been embraced by that blinding red light so many times before, I had now embraced the void, staring into it as it stared back at me with eyes of black, much like "Mother". Though, unlike the eyes of that creature that called itself "Mother", there was no reflection of me within them. Reflections were no longer needed. A reflection would insinuate that I were existing here in a physical form of some kind, when truly, I no longer existed at all. Death's cold embrace felt warmer than that of what had embraced me in life. Fear, loneliness, spitefulness, hatred, guilt, dread, anger; all of which were far colder than death.

However, this was just how I'd felt at the time, and feelings are usually irrational when compared to facts. The fact of the matter was, that I had not been dead long, if even at all. I'd survived whatever hell my mind, body, or whatever supernatural being had created for me. The facts on THAT whole experience were blurring with the irrational feelings and unreliable memories I'd had while aboard Sepultus Memoriae. I know what I felt, and it felt real. Facts would have me believe otherwise, but there were very little facts here.

I awoke in the medical bay of the Ravenwood Detention Center six days ago. This name may not be familiar to you and that is because I had forgotten the name of it myself. My mind hasn't been the most reliable thing as of late. I mean, a story is only as reliable as it's narrator and I've been nothing if not unreliable to whoever dares to read this abstract excursion into my point of view of the events that happened on Sepultus Memoriae. The Ravenwood Detention Center was the very same prison megaship that Christoph Dox had worked at. The man that I had held at gunpoint and threatened for information. Him and that poor child of his. I'd never planned on hurting them, but as we know, it's not just physical damage that can cause life altering trauma. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if I were staring down the barrel of a gun in the hands of that kid in a mere 15 years time.

Waking up on a prison ship had initially rattled me, especially considering it was the very same prison that Sepultus Memoriae had been sourcing its "test subjects" from. Thankfully, before I grew too paranoid and violent, I was calmly informed by a nurse that the prison had changed hands due to the investigation of the previous wardens dubious and unethical business strategies. Many of the higher ups had been relieved of their duties. Likely with varying levels of violence accompanying the word "relieved" in this situation. I've seen many people "relieved" of their duties as a form of resolution, and this particular case didn't appear to call for a peaceful resolution.

After a few days rest and after I had regained some of my energy, a man named Mathias Fletcher visited me. He claimed to be investigating the events that occurred on Sepultus Memoriae and was in no way affiliated with Ravenwood. A mere independent investigator working on building out the case against the prior leadership to aid in their prosecution, a vigilante with a pen, or in this case an Achilles personal compute system. After introductions and pleasantries, I gave him my side of the story over the course of a few hours and he recorded the whole thing for his investigation.

After I'd finished recalling the events to him and assured him that as crazy at it all may sound, that is how I remember the events happening, he then agreed to answer some of my questions to the best of his ability. Though, the only notable thing I'd really discovered during this, was that I'd not been aboard Sepultus Memoriae for about a week, as I had previously thought, but literal months. He seemed dumbfounded on how any of us had survived that long with such few supplies and according to his other interviews, none of us knew truly how long we were even there. The reported ship logs and nav records had shown the departure and arrival time of the megaship, which made it hard to argue otherwise. He then explained how the rescue team were able to retrieve mostly everyone with minimal casualties with them further reporting that there were very few survivors on the ship, and even less deceased. "Eerily empty, they say it's as if the majority of them had simply vanished." he said, just as I too had recalled during my time there. I was warned of madmen, yet I was the only madman traversing those halls. I then asked about Destiny and the others, to which he smiled. He said that it had been Destiny that pointed the rescue team in my direction and that I was found unconscious, floating in the blast zone of the Sector C Hold with very little oxygen in reserve. That didn't add up to me, as I had recalled being at the top of the control tower. Regardless, it was as happy an ending as I could ask for considering the situation.

Before my departure from Ravenwood, we spoke one last time. He rightfully expressed how absurd my side of the story was compared to the others accounts, but did agree that something strange must have occurred judging by the evidence.

That said, I don't trust the man. I've dealt with enough goons in suits to know when I'm being led on to further their own ends. But I couldn't care less about him, or even the truth of what had happened on that megaship. At least not right now. As far as I'm concerned, that was a chapter of my life violently ending to make way for something new. As I said before: "The journeys end; a new beginning", and this new beginning will start with making amends to those I've hurt. After that, I'll see to it that I find answers of some kind.

I've been disconnected for so long, it's now time to reconnect, starting with a few old friends. As I write this, I am sitting aboard a long range passenger ship heading towards Dalton Gateway; where I grew up. "The Ghoul", my personal ship, was nowhere to be found, no black box either. Yet another mystery for another time. But seeing as I am a shipless pilot, Ravenwood offered to take me anywhere I wanted as thanks for assisting in the recovery of Sepultus Memoriae and the uncovering of shady business practices by the previous warden. Now I think it's about time I went home.