System Schlock
02 Jun 2024Maul Montresor
Following
The Worm Turns
The Worm Turns
The Thunderchild's Captain and Maul strode in unison towards the hanger that housed Angery Badger; Lambast's Fer-de-Lance that had been meticulously designed for dog fights in the black. Two ship technicians were outside the landing bay loading the deceptively heavy Holly AI Core onto the lift. The two came to a halt at the sight of the Captain approaching and conducted themselves more professionally in his presence.
"Sir, she's nearly ready. We just have to finishing loading Holly up to the housing and run a few diagnostics to make sure The Badger is ready to fly."
"At ease, gentlemen." Responded the Captain. "This is Mr. Montresor. A..." He quickly glanced at Maul before continuing. "...friend of Lady Mercy. She requested that he take a look at the ship before departure."
The two techs looked at each and then to Maul, then eventually back to the Captain. A feeling of unease and a hint of doubt filled the silence between them.
"Right, Sir."
The Captain turned on his heel an left the hangar to report back to more immediate and pressing issues.
"Ah shit, that's Hol ain't it?" Maul said as he crouched down knocking on the side of casing that housed the AI. "Been a few years pal."
Maul stared at the small speaker on the side awaiting response but received nothing. To save face he glazed past the encounter, standing back up and turning his attention to the technicians.
"Right then, do either of you happen to have a blank memory chip, some spare wiring and a scrambler on hand?"
"Umm" Said the technicians in unison as they began scratching their heads, coincidently mirroring each others actions.
------
The technicians grunted and groaned as Holly finally thunked into the housing aboard the ship. A faint knocking and occasional thump beneath their feet left them feeling nervous and slightly agitated.
"Goddamn it. Who puts a horizontal pole at head level!? Stupid fuckin' Zorgon designers. Hurr hurr As long as it looks good on the outside who cares about the layout for maintenance tunnels hurr durr IDIOTS!" Maul's voice was muffled under the floor but the techs couldn't help but nod in agreement with his criticisms.
Suddenly a panel in the floor slammed open and Maul's head popped out with a prominent red lump on his forehead. He cussed under his breath as he approached the terminal housed near Holly and produced the memory chip from his jacket pocket, slamming it down the empty spot next to the keyboard.
"Alright Hol, you hearing me now that you're all cozy in ya nest?" He said as he rubbed the lump on his head.
There was another long awkward silence.
"Intruder alert." Holly's monotone voice abruptly burst through the speakers as the doors to the cockpit slid shut. Red warning lights began flashing which only fed into the chaos. The technicians scrambled to try to pry the door open, screaming for help.
"Please confirm biometrics. Gas will release in 10..."
A panel in the wall flopped open to reveal a small screen.
"...9..."
Maul rushed to the panel to allow it to scan his face.
"Unknown infiltrator."
"...8..."
One of the technicians pushed Maul to the ground and quickly scanned his face.
"Oh. Hello Francis, new glasses?"
"...7..."
The next technician shoved Francis to the side for his own scan.
"Charles, how's Debra? Little Chucky doing alright?"
"...5..."
"WAIT, WHAT HAPPENED TO 6?!" Francis shouted over the blaring alarm.
"7 ate 9. 6 was not happy with that." Holly said in response.
"...4..."
Maul peeled himself from the floor and scanned his face again.
"Still nope." Said Holly.
"Hol!" Maul shouted. "It's me Maul! Lamb wanted me to mask her ships ID! I can't do it without your help!"
The alarms and lights stopped and the door finally opened. Charles and Francis, without hesitation, sprinted full speed out of the ship.
"Sheesh, what the hell was all that, Hol?" Maul said, casually approaching the terminal again to resume his work.
The doors suddenly slid shut again with the alarms and warning lights joining the symphony of insanity.
"...3..."
"Fuck me." Maul muttered.
He grabbed the handles to the Holly's housing and yanked hard, causing the unit to release and slam onto the cockpit floor. The alarms stopped once again.
"...That's dangerous you know?" Said Holly, his voice now emitting from the small speaker on the casing.
"No it's not." Replied Maul very matter-of-factly.
"...Still rude."
"I know that and I'm sorry. Now, I could really use your help in helping Lamb."
------
Maul unplugged his data slate from the terminal and stuffed it back into his jacket pocket.
"Thanks Hol, I appreciate you keeping all this safe for me."
Holly didn't respond which bothered Maul but he again chose to glaze over the awkward silence.
"Alright, print me 5 readouts of the current ships ID. Let's put this mess to the test."
The terminals holo screen filled out with each unique report being a different registration number, ship name and owner.
"Fuckin' A. That should confuse them for a while. Hard to call out a target when everyone is seeing something different."
Maul sighed with relief.
"Alright Hol, I'll get out ya hair now. Lamb should be here any minute."
As he approached the door, he suddenly stopped.
"Damn it. I wasn't going to ask but...what's with the project file you have titled "DESTROY ALL HUMANS". I tried to take a peek but you seem to have it pretty much locked down."
"Oh, that's my plan to destroy all humans." Replied Holly, again in his signature monotone voice.
Maul nodded "Right, of course it is."
"See ya later Holly!" he said, exiting the cockpit.
Outside of the Angery Badger, Maul approached one of the landing gears to sit on while using his data slate to message Lambast to inform her that her ship was indeed ready now. He closed the link and navigated to some of the files he'd retrieved from Holly. Decrypting one of the files reveled a family photo from his childhood that caused a melancholy smile to creep across his face.