A Life Decision
18 Jun 2024Jana Razeki
"Life is all about choices, some people say. Maybe they're right. But sometimes, or often, it's not... for me, certainly. It's happened often enough that it's just given me things, and I had to work with or around them. Even got used to doing it that way - just rolling with the punches, occasionally get a bone thrown my way. But this? This was entirely my own decision, and one that only I could take, because it was never going to happen on its own."
Today, I'd made the choice.
... technically, even a month and a half or so, ago, and just hadn't gotten around to committing properly until now. But it was going to be the big day.
'Hmph. Big. Ironic, considering what I'm about to do.', I thought to myself.
A fair few consultations, a bunch of research on which place to have it done in, and a lot more screwing around in a virtual reality-like environment to figure out exactly what I wanted, where and how I wanted it to be, leading up to... this particular moment. That, and when I had made the decision, the question of "How do you want us to do it" - my answer had simply been surgery, no fancy tech implants or anything of the like. Never wanted it, still didn't, even if it offered an 'interesting alternative' to an otherwise one-off process throughout a day. That I wouldn't even be aware of until it was done, with my chosen way.
A part of my mind was occupied with the sheer nonsensical stupidity of it, but more as an amusing thought at the back of it rather than seriously questioning the idea - because that aspect was what made it so interesting in the first place. To my weird, twisted and messed up mind, at least, even if I'd been repeatedly encouraged by a friend that there was technically nothing wrong with it - "standard area of human interests", and all that. Except... kind of outside the 'normal' regions of said interest, but since when had I ever been normal?
I looked around the entrance of... I would've called it a hospital, but it was really more of a medical clinic, if that, given that they didn't just perform life-saving operations and other health-related dealings. Or I wouldn't have been here, right now... a few other people were there, too, either just arrived or in the process of leaving. Seeing how no queue was in front of the reception, right now, though, I moved up to there.
"Welcome. How can I help you, madam?", the receptionist greeted me, looking up from her terminal.
"I have an appointment. For, well, right now. It's, uh... for surgery.", I replied... a bit nervously, tapping both pointer fingers together.
Not for any kind of hesitation or importance to it, but more just a bit of embarrassment at its reason being such a weird one. If I could have chosen to not have people around for it, I would have. At least I was looking at a woman for it.
"Could you give me your name, please?"
"Oh. Of course. Jana, Jana Razeki."
"Please wait here. I'll just need to check for it."
The receptionist looked back at the terminal, and typed something - my name, presumably - into it, then looked at me again about half a minute later.
"Everything looks good. Proceed to the waiting room, just at the start of the corridor to the left. Someone will be with you shortly."
"Okay. Thanks."
I moved along as told, not finding it difficult to find that room... no thanks to the big, obvious 'Please wait here until a member of staff comes to get you' sign. I hadn't really expected any short waiting times, though, given the very much non-essential nature of my presence, but then... I had paid - would be paying, rather - quite a bit of money for this, from the completely excessive "war support" vouchers I had received defending systems from the Thargoids, so maybe that was grounds for preferential treatment... that I didn't ask for, but wouldn't exactly argue against either.
Plus, there weren't many people present at this time, so it didn't seem like I'd be taking the spot of anybody who did need the help right in this moment, or at least sooner than I would. Because I didn't really need 'help' and this was more of a... luxury act. A weird one, at that. The high expense, mostly due to this particular place offering a good enough 'service' that nobody going in for the thing I was had anything negative to say... but it still wasn't some over the top Imperial thing with more decor than sense. Closer to the core of the Bubble, definitely, though not so much that it tried to oversell what it offered without really making up for it in the quality.
And if I had the money, why the hell not? Sitting on a completely meaningless stack of cash which I had no use or desire for, didn't provide me with anything, but it could get me something that would bring me joy.
I watched one or two people be taken out of the waiting room before my name was called into it, prompting me to stand up and follow the doctor who had to an operation room. And... that was where the questions began.
"Jana Razeki." The doctor read my name off a datapad he was holding, as if needing it to remember. More likely, it held the stuff I wanted from this, which I had told on previous consultations here. "Please, sit down."
I shrugged and, between the choice of a chair and the medical bed, I decided to settle on the chair.
"I'm ready, doc. If that's what you were gonna ask.", I told him.
"That was going to be one of my questions, yes.", he answered. "But I'd like to go over the specifications you provided again first, just to ensure we'll get everything right."
I nodded. "Sure. Go ahead, hit me."
"Very well. So, you still wish to have the procedure performed with a fat implantation?"
"Well... yeah. I do want it to feel like how it would if my body was like that... let's say, naturally. And I can live without having some kind of plastic or other substance in my body, too."
"Of course. I presume the desired shape is still the one you provided, as well, then?"
I nodded again. "My idea hasn't changed. You do have everything ready, right?"
"Yes. The necessary tissues were grown ahead of time for today's appointment, both the ones to be implanted, and those you requested to cover up any possible marks of stretching on your skin, with your provided samples. Likewise, the progenitor cell treatment to shorten recovery after the surgery is complete."
"Okay, okay. I get it. Everything's set up. Why the interrogation, though?"
"In case you changed your mind. It would not be the first time. Not for me, or the establishment."
"Thanks for asking, but I've made my mind up at least a week ago... and, honestly, I might start to question it if it's not done now, while I'm ready."
"I understand. In that case, I will simply ask you to review the information on my datapad and, should everything be correct, sign it."
He handed it to me. It did seem to be right - an increase of two cup sizes for the breast, from D to F, and the hips right out to the - outer - edge of my shoulders, with a matching increase in the thighs, which went a little further out than the hips. And, of course, that other part as well... maybe a little extra back there, thanks to a certain friend of mine 'inspiring' me. No change to the shins. Came with the picture of that version of 'me' in the VR environment too, as I'd provided it... for additional reference, particularly in regards to the shape of the breast. One thing was worthy of a question, though.
"Why's it not say anything about the weight?"
"Oh, that ..." The doc gave me what could best be described as an amused smirk. "We usually leave that for the patient to find out, following the surgery."
"Oh, great. You're so telling me I'm going to be into the triple digits."
"Perhaps not that extreme, but you'll find out. Have you signed?"
"I was getting there."
The 'signature' was more just providing my fingerprint, but everything looked right, and, though I wouldn't have admitted it to anybody, I was somewhat eager to get this on with. There were also some of the usual liabilities related to possible allergic reactions to a sedative, and all that, to accept, but I wasn't too worried about any of it. Handing the pad itself back was more of a formal gesture, but one that felt fitting for once... for someone otherwise very informal in her approach. And equally fitting that it was a rather inappropriate thing it sealed in.
"Wasn't supposed to pay ahead of time, was I?", I decided to inquire... just in case. I could always do it in my usual impromptu manner.
"Payment is generally requested after the procedure - particularly since, here, corrective action is offered free if anything is not to your liking afterward.", the doc told me.
"Right. Of course. Actually acting for the 'consumer'... anyway, do I, like, need to do anything else before now? Or, you know, the thing."
"Assuming you followed the instructions for the day preceding an operation that requires general anaesthesia, or don't intend to inform us of possible allergies at the last moment... the only thing that is required is for you to not be dressed. At most, you'll be able to wear a hospital gown." I followed where he pointed. Those things didn't look fun to wear. "As you can imagine ..."
"... it would be pretty hard to work on those areas while I've got clothes on... unless you want to ruin them. I got it.", I replied. "But... I think I'd rather not have anyone watch while I do that. I don't mind having to put it on while I need it - I've suffered worse indignities than needing to be undressed in front of a few doctors for an operation. But, yeah, if you don't mind giving me a moment ..."
"Of course. I'll be outside. Once you're done, lie down on the operating table. Get comfortable - the rest of the team'll be here soon. The sedative will be administered after that."
I didn't need to be told anything else. Once he'd walked out - temporarily - I got out of my clothes and put them on the chair I'd sat on just a minute or two prior. Not too orderly, more just 'Someone piled them on there well enough to not fall off with the slightest breeze'. Then I got into that annoyingly exposing gown and, waited, sat on the site of the operating table, until the medical staff returned. At that point, I lay down, and crossed my arms on the chest, at first... then was prompted to put them to my sides instead.
"Where would you like to have the needle inserted?", one of the doctors asked me.
Because no visit to the hospital went without one, apparently.
"Uh... right arm. I think.", I said. "Probably won't matter much anyway."
"Of course. This will sting a little."
It stung more than a little.
"What is that for?", I decided to ask... maybe should've read some of the info I'd gotten in more detail.
"The sedative is administered intravenously.", the nurse who'd put it in - and was fixating it on the arm - told me. "Try to relax. You'll likely start to feel distant, and fall asleep quickly."
"I won't witness anything, will I?"
"It's unlikely you will, or that you're going to remember anything. And when you wake up, you'll be in your new body."
"Great. Can't wait."
While it was meant to be a genuine statement, I wasn't entirely sure if it came over like that. I hoped it was interpreted as I meant it, though. The last particularly conscious thought I had before the sedative began to kick in was that I felt glad, about not having to witness the visual of what was getting inserted into my body. All for the sake of something so weird, that somehow had quite the potential to make me feel more fulfilled. Then I slipped into the darkness.
Several hours later ...
Coming out of sedation was... a strange experience, for the least. At first, it felt as though I was somewhere else than my body, barely even registering its presence. Then, after another period of darkness, noise faintly began to enter my ears, vision still blurry, barely able to keep my eyes open. After the third darkness, the substances in my blood wearing off sufficiently, I began to come to my senses a bit more.
First... I began to notice the quite evident dizziness that was... all throughout my head, like early morning brain fog, but much worse. Then the sound of monitoring equipment... and the quite noticeable sensation of weight on my chest. Both in general, and from the extra effort required to breathe properly.
It still took a few minutes for the brain gears to kick in properly to really 'understand' the meaning of that. And, that my waist felt quite 'lifted' as opposed to before. Not to mention how much 'contact' there was between my thighs... as well. Wasn't quite about to get up, though... did take notice of the one doc in the room. A woman, this time, rather than the man who'd come to get me in the waiting room.
"Ah. Ms. Razeki, you're awake."
"Awake ..." I uttered the word to get my tongue loosened up a little, before forming more complex sentences. "Hell, feels more like a damn hangover. Except without the headache and sore throat."
"I'm afraid that's just the aftereffects of the sedative. They should wear off in an hour or two, but it would be best for you to remain under observation for another twenty-four hours at least."
"Tell me, that I won't feel like this for the whole day."
"You won't. As I said, one or two hours, but you might still feel dizzy and a little disoriented until a full day has passed. But, given that you should remain here for that duration, at least, to ensure your body does not react negatively to the surgery, or the changes performed to it."
"Changes... oh, yeah." My tone indicated it finally began to properly dawn on me. Trying to sit upright, though, wasn't in it yet. I spoke up again after briefly exhaling. "Okay... maybe, another few minutes."
Said few minutes turned into... a lot more time. Apparently, at least, because after I'd closed my eyes, then opened them again, I had the vague impression of the digital clock having advanced more than just a little bit. Same doctor was still in the room, though. This time - I did manage to sit upright. Thought about moving my legs to the edge of... a medical bed I'd been placed into. Or maybe it was still the same operating table with more padding than I'd noticed. Either way, I was more focused on the extra effort it took to lift up my upper body.
"Oh, that's... actually really different.", I remarked, to nobody in particular. At least the haze in my head was less intrusive now.
"How do you feel about it?", the doctor still asked.
"... need to look at myself in a mirror.", I muttered, before raising my voice again. "I can get out of the bed, right?"
"Of course. Thanks to the treatment option you chose, there shouldn't be any particular recovery period until you can walk again. Any wounds left from the required incisions will have been healed, already."
"Well, that's... good."
I was more preoccupied with... myself, at this point, and slowly moved my legs. Right one first, shift it to the side of the bed... unable to really ignore just how much more thigh there was to it. Same for the left one. Placed next to each other, while sat... couldn't really think my thigh gap had survived this particularly well, not that it bothered me in the slightest. Sitting upright was also, quite a different experience, thanks to... all that extra.
Next step... actually standing up. That was an experience of its own, too.
First, I learned that I simply had to place my feet a bit further apart, else my thighs interfered with each other too much. Second... I was not particularly steady on my feet yet, between the shift in the center of mass, and the sedative's effects which were yet to wear off. Not to mention... walking as I was used to it, that kind of didn't work as well, because the central area between my legs was a lot less free. To the point of 'pretty much always in contact while walking'.
I didn't mind that so much - really liked it, even - but the part where I stumbled forward to be caught by a wall, and the doctor, I was not a fan of that.
"Yep... definitely going to need to get used to that."
"Take it easy. You may still be a little unsteady on your feet today, until the sedative has fully worn off."
"I can tell."
I still used the wall as support with my right hand, holding the left to the head while shaking it, as if trying to throw off the 'wooziness'. Kind of felt as if my head was still in another place. Still, I allowed myself to regain my orientation and, more slowly this time, walked forward again. Definitely, I needed to adjust my walking a bit, but even if I did so, I had that feeling the time of not having my thighs in contact was over. And I totally liked the idea.
A quite convenient mirror had been placed in the room. Probably, for me to observe myself. I wandered over to it, but was stuck in a gown. A rather bigger one, which looked a bit funny.
"Pff. Looks like I'm just wearing a bag over myself.", I openly remarked, and added a thought to that.
'Can't see a damn thing about myself in this.'
"If you would like, we have provided some clothing for you.", the doctor said, prompting me to look back - there was some neatly folded, though quite basic, apparel, placed on the chair. On top of my less organized clutter.
"Oh. Well, thanks. If you don't mind leaving me for a moment ...?"
"Not at all. I'll be waiting outside, should you need anything."
Right now, I didn't... other than to see the new me in all its glory.
First, I took off the gown, and just dumped it on the floor. Everything, was... pretty much as I'd wanted it. The breasts were noticeably larger and rounder in their shape, though could probably use a bit of support from a bra. Definitely felt quite a bit heavier than what I'd been used to, but it was still within the limits of looking just about 'right', without being completely, excessively large. Which had its own appeal, just not on me.
Likewise, the hips and thighs were 'evenly distributed' and pretty much perfectly matched how I wanted them to be. I turned to my side for a sneaky glance... that was right, too, neatly curving into things.
Next order of business, clothes. Even without a window to be looked through, I definitely didn't want to be parading around undressed. And because I had to, I gave my old ones a try... though I didn't bother with the bra. Because I was not stupid enough, though, I deliberately ignored the bra and went right for the shirt... which, now, acted more like a top. Left a good portion of my waist exposed, only beginning to cover it above the hip curve. Which itself probably contributed to why the shirt didn't really cover as much as it used to... but it also had a larger breast to contend with, and that definitely showed as well. But in a good way, highlighting its shape pretty well.
Things were... less evident when it came to my lower half, where the changes were, quite a bit more significant. Starting with the underwear, flexible as it was... I already struggled when the thighs began to go outward a bit, and it felt as though it barely fit over their widest portion. Things didn't look much better in the correct spot, pretty much following every nook and cranny which it could find.
That told me the pants weren't going to be any better... but I still went ahead regardless. Despite their baggy nature, getting them on was a struggle and a half. The first trouble occurred at the thighs, of course, a problem mostly solved by pulling. Above that, however...
"Come on... damn it, fit!" Just brute forcing it wouldn't do. "Okay... maybe... push things in a bit as I go, and... up you go!"
I let out a bit of a breath of relief when I had things sitting there. I was only barely able to close up the zipper and button, though, and it was almost painfully tight. The formerly baggy cargo pants were now more on the level of 'really tight', and left rather little to the imagination... not to think of the aforementioned button and zipper feeling like they just wanted to pop off.
"Definitely thought those were a bit more stretchy than that." I couldn't help but sigh again. "Then again, I did pretty much double up down there ..."
The truth of needing entirely new clothes, though I had kind of known it already, definitely settled in now. So I took everything off again, before any embarrassing incidents occurred, and tried those basic clothes I'd been provided with... all in white, which I wasn't a fan of, but roughly made to fit this new shape of mine, and not feel like I was wearing anything oversized.
I started with underwear, looking at myself in the mirror with it. Quite a bit better, especially with it keeping the breast to an - even more - appealing shape. I ran my hands along the hips once, taking in the increased curvature, with a tentative inward push on the backside, then got on with things.
The shirt was pretty much as snug as my previous one, just accounting for the added mass on the chest, but the pants were not my preferred baggy kind... yet, it kind of just, worked, highlighting the curvier form nicely. And they were 'filled out' quite well at the back, without showing any... "closer details". With that out of the way, I wandered over toward the door and knocked on it, to let the doctor know I was 'done'.
"So, do you like it?", she inquired, giving me a good look over.
"Are you kidding? This is great!", I exclaimed, just about keeping my hands from fumbling all over the figure... aside from their current position at the breast. "Should've done this way sooner."
"I am glad you like it. Not everyone who goes through with cosmetic surgery is always pleased with the results. Perhaps you'd like to weigh yourself, too?"
I rolled my eyes in an annoyed way. "I guess I should probably know. Let's get it over with."
The scale - digital, of course, because I would have been really surprised to find a mechanical version or analog at this point in time, outside of a museum - was right in this room, too. I stepped on it, and the weight quickly shot up to 60... then 70... then 80... I dreaded it shooting up a lot more, but it stopped just shy of the 90 mark... and tipped over when I shifted my weight just slightly, also breathing out. And then sighed.
"That is... a lot.", I said, not knowing what else to.
"Well, allowing me to be informal, your hips are twice their original size, or thereabout. But if it is any consolation, know that it is not from being overweight, and the addition of the fat tissues should have no negative health consequences."
"I won't lose them, will I?"
"Providing your food intake and physical activity remain the same, your body should not use them. However, I would suggest strengthening the musculature of your lower back, to better carry the increased weight on your chest."
"I'm... not surprised about that. Any other health advice you want to give me before I leave tomorrow?"
"I don't believe there is anything particularly essential beyond that, no. Your legs will likely naturally form the muscle to hold the additional weight better, if you do not have it already."
I shrugged. "Probably going to survive anyway. Can I at least get something to eat? Feels like I'm starving."
"Of course, you can. You should find something in one of the vending machines just outside, though, to avoid walking too far. Unless someone can accompany you outside."
I scratched my head. "Uh... yeah, not really. So I guess I'll just be hanging around here for the next day."
"I'll be leaving you for now, then. If you do require anything, that button over there, or the wrist band on the other chair, will let you call for someone."
"Okay. Got it. And, shit, thanks. This is so perfect!"
The doctor smiled at my not-at-all hidden delight at the much curvier body I had now, and how well they'd made it turn out. I'd definitely having be a lot of fun with this... both in the hands-on and hands-off way. She left the room, shortly after which I also ventured out, finding the aforementioned vending machines right there. Even that short moment had a few people glancing my way curiously, which made me grin a bit. This was so worth it... I definitely understood Kasumi a lot more now. And why she'd gotten so carried away with it that her body was just completely out of hand. Figuratively, and literally.
I slipped back into the room with my food and practically fell over it. After that... more body exploration was in order, particularly focused around the lower reaches. Because... I had the most 'material' to get ahold of down there.
The following day...
The twenty-four hour observation period had gone quite smoothly, no complications arising, beyond my occasional attempts to continue figuring out how to handle myself best in walking, those being - mostly - related to keeping the balance. Which was easier said than done... I couldn't even imagine how a woman with a breast twice this size managed, but apparently, I knew one that had. And she was totally okay with having 'features' of that size.
"So, I'm free to go?", I asked the doctor in the room with me.
"Yes.", he replied. "Unless you would like to stay, but everything checks out, and there appear to be no immediate complications related to the surgery itself."
"Great. I guess. I mean, I was told I was fine already, yesterday. So, I figured it'd not get any worse."
"I suppose your assumption turned out to be correct, then. However, if you do encounter any problems which you suspect to be related to it, don't be afraid to call, or return here."
"I will. But ..." I couldn't help the mischievious smirk that appeared on my face. "If I come back, it's just going to be for more."
"That, I'm afraid, is currently not within my field of expertise. Unless you'd like to schedule another operation right now."
I chuckled. "Nah, I was just kidding, doc. I don't think I really need or want an even bigger breast. Do like seeing my feet, still. Anyway... I want to thank you again. You really did a great job. It looks exactly how I wanted it to."
"And I'm glad everything is to your satisfaction."
I hopped off the bed... a little cautiously, so I didn't end up stumbling forward. "Alright, I'll be going, then. See you around, doc... maybe. And hopefully not because something's gone badly wrong."
"That would be my hope as well. And I would prefer that it is not related to you falling."
I had to hold back a bit of laughter. "I like your sense of humor. Anyway, bye."
I picked up my old clothes, not yet having anything better than the basic, white stuff provided to me in the clinic, and proceeded to go toward the entrance. Where, quite naturally, I caught a few looks from people, who probably weren't quite expecting to see that coming out. The only thing that I had to really stop myself from doing was grinning like an idiot, knowing exactly why they were unable to divert their gazes away... but I did still wink at one of them before going out the front door.
At least, I was on a station, around its habitation ring, so I could start doing the thing of looking for clothes, at that... and get a bit more proper practice in, since it provided me with a full G of gravity to work with. Or against, rather, looking at how I had about an extra kilogram of weight pulling down on my chest, now. All totally worth it, though.
Probably needed new suits, too, considering the experience I'd had trying to fit into my old clothes, and those were definitely more flexible than those suits sold by Pioneer... it was definitely not my intent - or in my interest - to wear skin-tight stuff that put everything on more display than it already would be.
I'd likely settle for the same style of clothing, though, because that was just what I liked to wear. Not so much the basic, snug hospital clothing that, without revealing any particular 'details', certainly left little to the imagination where the size of those aspects was concerned... on the hips, since I didn't mind something a little tighter for the upper body, as it was.
Neither of those were particular "issues" anyway, especially being at port where I could just have the stuff delivered to the ship... then it occurred to me that the pilot's seat might end up being slightly inadequate, with it seeming to be dimensioned just about at the width of my shoulders... as my hips now were.
'Ah, whatever. I'll just give it a few test runs and then decide if I want or need a custom model. Not like I have such over-the-top curves to outright not fit into it.', I thought to myself, shrugging a little to that thinking, then happily walked along.
I was just enjoying having a body that hit all of the right notes, even with its - possibly - inordinate appearance. And pulling silly faces at the gawkers along the way. Maybe I'd make an excursion to some Earth-like world with decent weather and nature for a few days, just have a bit of worry-free fun. And learn life with this new shape, particularly sleeping poses.
First, though, I'd have to fix the wardrobe situation, that I created myself. And learn if the spatial awareness of my body still worked, despite it having a wider frame in some places.
This would make one big surprise - in both ways - for her.