War Musings
06 Sep 2024Jana Razeki
Personal log entryVisibility : Public
Published : September 6, 3310
So, me again. Except with a lot of extra padding now. Literally... no, you don't have to understand.
Haven't recorded one of these in a while. A couple months... but, well, there hasn't been a lot going on that's worth talking or writing about. My life isn't really, and I don't need strangers on the web to know everything I do every day, what color certain bodily rejections have, and how I stubbed my toe on something and then stepped on an old plastic toy that feels like it's made of concrete. Just been the usual way of things for the last... what, it's been two years now? I think. Have really just not kept track.
And why should I have? This war is a giant dump bucket anyway, and I'm really tired of it. To make matters worse, we humans have already started showing that we're just going to go right back to killing each other like nothing happened once it's over. Because of course it didn't. What are eight giant alien hive ships on the grand and important scale of petty human squabbling?
And those idiots over at Azimuth decided to abduct me to use me as a pressure tool against a friend. Because of course those assholes would do that. And then promptly deny it. Got rescued by the two only friends I made since this nonsense with the Titans kicked off... and those are the only details you're getting from me, because I kinda don't really want to elaborate on it, and just forget that it ever happened.
So, anyway. We have two Titans left, one of them about halfway from its original starting point when the assault on its fleet started. You can guess, that's pretty much what I've been doing, aside from those few days of unplanned 'leave' in July. Causing trouble for the angry space neighbors we pissed off ourselves around Raijin. Well, that and helping some of the evacuation effort when they inevitably begin exploding, because why would they try to run from the invincible human forces that never get exhausted and always win against superior alien enemies?
... yeah, nevermind. Some of my humor has never been great, and I'm still stuck trying to figure out why they're just sitting there waiting to take it, with what few working brain gears I have left. Some days, feels like I could count those on one hand, but at least it's enough to say I'm not completely insane. And have a shred of common sense left. Maybe that's why this feels like one of those shitty action movies where the humans can never be defeated and you know it from the start, even though it isn't. Whatever.
So, Aegis finally stopped ignoring those piles of dead Titans just sitting around after number six turned into a nova for a couple seconds. I passed on that, kind of just didn't see the point. What do you get from watching a giant ship explode as part of an act of war? I get nothing out of it, and I've seen it happen twice already anyway. Three if you count every news feed ever and everywhere broadcasting the demise of the first one. Was that really six months ago?
But yeah, apparently they've decided that with two Titans left they can stop going full on military spending and can actually do what they said they would, research instead of just making more weapons and whatever. And then... sat on it for weeks. If they wanted contributions, they could have opened up for us already instead of waiting for the wrecks to become accessible to everybody and lure in those idiot pirate shitheads. I'd rather deal with staying away from a couple Thargoid ships patrolling the wreck or occasionally shooting some Scouts down to keep them off me while recovering that salvage. Which those Thargoids probably aren't too happy about, but I'm not really looking to be friends unless they want to be and stop, well, what they are still doing at the edges of the Bubble.
I guess getting pissed at that won't help much anyway, but I could have done without stink noses whose best way of making a life for themselves was to decide that doing hard work was too much, so instead they would leech off of what others are doing. What a great bunch that I would totally want to associate with.
Anyhow, with all that war weariness, I was just thinking... don't the Thargoids maybe feel the same? Like, this has got to have cost them just as much, if not more than it has us. Even if they... probably... have a lot more at their disposal than we do, I doubt it's still just nothing to throw those eight ships out at us and lose them, plus the... however many of their smaller ships they've lost. Probably in the millions, but finding accurate statistics on that isn't exactly easy.
Nobody's really gained anything from this conflict. It's all just... been chaos, senseless destruction, death, the abductions... and if the Thargoids are as intelligent as some say, they would be a bit tired of it too, don't you think? Hell, considering that they have just stopped bothering to make the fleets from other Titans go to one that wasn't destroyed and instead had them retreat to... who knows where, even seems to say that. But then again, I am no xenobiologist, or... whatever the title for that kind of researcher would be. Can't really seem to take this thought further than this.
Maybe it could all just be totally wrong and those ships from the dead Titans are just waiting in reserve for a mass counterstrike from the last two. If I knew... well, I would probably not be a human. I'm currently just keeping a close eye on things while I'm on a bit of a break from it all because, shit, I'm just so damn tired of it. And probably not the only one. As if this war was also not enough, we're setting up to go right back to more war amidst ourselves. What a fucking bunch of idiots. Really glad I made the decision to go to the edges of our current space and just not give a fuck about all that political, corporate and other bullshit. Unless you're asking me to get in the way of something like Sirius Corp, hell, I'll gladly do that.
Matter of fact, kind of did. Or tried to, but that Utopian initiative was not exactly successful. And I had no particular motivation to support them aside from opposing the grabby fingers of a megacorporation that is clearly not rich enough yet from a monopoly which has lasted a decade. Or maybe longer. I don't know the details that well. Never even paid that much attention, I'm just happy to see that idiot in charge of Sirius not get his way all the time... and be causing himself trouble by just obsessing over trying to apparently own every tech company ever.
But, yeah. I'm still more focused on this whole Thargoid madness. Feels like people are already trying to forget about it, but I can't forget how the Titans arrived originally. And it really feels like they've just been building to something, because this so-called 'defensive strategy' has really not done anything to avoid their destruction. Or maybe they are just that clueless about how to wage war on humans, but I kinda doubt that. Just hope Aegis' warning didn't fall on deaf ears completely.
Somehow, I don't feel like this has really been a victory for humans, either. Sure, we beat the Titans back, but is that really going to convince the Thargoids to not just send more, and worse?
... I just want this to be over. I've wasted basically two years of my life on this shitty madness already, after barely getting to a point where I could say I had one, instead of 'surviving'. Why do I have to suffer because some fucking morons have to compete with an alien species that is way older and more advanced than we are just so we can steal their resources and technology?
Is it really so much to ask to get to live and not have a giant alien ship shit all over it because of somebody else's overinflated ego and political ambitions?
Now I'm just getting annoyed. Maybe I should move to Colonia. But I won't because none of my friends are there.
PS I did remember to update the placeholder title, right? Because I suck at it I was originally just going to go with something lame and not telling like "Status Update".
Author's note - You might guess this follows after the events of the Abduction logs, even if just because of the date above. Haven't finished writing those yet, but as this log does not elaborate on that and I wanted to write this one, I figured it is safe to post.