A Letter to Juan Jose Luna Espinosa
01 Jan 2025Krakdawg
To the pirate by the name of Juan Jose Luna Espinosa:You are a dirty scoundrel whose entire lineage I cursed with every last breath I could muster before you blew out my cockpit windows and vented all of my oxygen -- and when I no longer had the air with which to curse your bloodline, I continued to quietly rue the day you stepped into a ship and took to the stars.
Was it not enough that the xenos raided our home systems' hyperspace lanes, picking us off one by one regardless of whether that one was an elite pilot or a harmless greenie? Is it worth nothing to you that many of us laid down our livelihoods -- and indeed, our lives -- to defend these very same space lanes that you so callously patrol like some base highwayman with no code or morals?
You saw me hauling a big load of some fairly standard fare and you licked your lips like I was good eatin'. You followed me all the way back to my home station, and just when my guard was most down as I pulled ever closer to the safety of that orbital, you struck with your interdiction. I was powerless to fight back as my heavy, mostly unmodified Type-9 listed and leaned in the tunnel of the interdiction's path, until finally you nabbed me from my cruise and let me really have it.
I did not fire back. The only hardpoints that ol' Buttercup had installed were OEM factory lasers, installed with my purchase, and I suspect I would not have found the time to double back around to even point them at you. I merely kept my eyes ahead of me and slammed down on the FSD as soon as it cooled off enough to charge back up.
Alas, but a second or two before my drives were fully charged and ready to jump, your rain of fire had knocked out my shields and ate away at my hull, striking my FSD and thruster modules, sending me into an uncontrollable spin. I pulled back hard on my flight stick but I knew it was a hopeless endeavor as I watched my hull integrity drop...
18%...
9%...
4%...
1%...
...and then nothing but the bitter embrace of the fires of defeat, frying the entire ship before I could eject my escape pod into the cold depths of deep space, leaving a full truckload of agronomic treatment floating where once Buttercup flew, ripe for the reaping by none other than your own dastardly self.
Oh, but however! Don't get too full of yourself, my dear Juan, for you ignited an incessant, undying flame in more than just my ship -- you inspired me to dive headfirst into the way of combat. I bought back Buttercup through insurance and took her back to that same station just outside of which you shot me down for what amounted to pocket change, and I outfitted her to the teeth with hardpoints galore. I reinforced her hull, and I gave her a brand new set of engineered drives and thrusters after receiving my Elite commendations.
So, Juan Jose Luna Espinosa, degenerate pirate and scum of space -- are you ready for a rematch? This time I'll even come with a little load of gold... you know, just to tempt you. I know you won't be able to resist, and when you interdict me this time...
...I'm going to let you.
Yours dangerously,
CMDR Krakdawg
Admiral, Hand of Skarro