Logbook entry

My Adopted Legacy

19 Jun 2020Zero Recall
Legacy...

What is a Legacy?

A wise man once said, "It's planting seeds in a garden you never get to see. I wrote some notes at the beginning of a song, someone will sing for me."

What happens when the hole is dug and the seed is placed, but the hole is never filled? What if you make some beats, and never get to make a melody?

Life. Life is about leaving a legacy. Your life is a symphony that you create with every action. With every step, part of a movement. With every milestone, a new act.

My grandfather was making his legacy. From humble beginnings, to Federation Rear Admiral. The Federation took him in at a young age. Shaped the man that he'd become. He loved the Federation. He almost felt at home with them. Though, he only felt completely at home in his cockpit. Yet, someone wasn't right. I remember waking up one morning and my grandmother telling me we were jumping on the next Dolphin that was leaving Eta Cassiopeiae. I remember being secretive. Being told not to interact with anyone. Even when I saw my friend, Emberly, near the port. I regret not telling her how I felt about her sooner. I thought I had time. I thought I could stage the time, the place, the event to make a grand romantic gesture. But, apparently, life has a different plan.

When we finally stopped jumping from Passenger Ship to Passenger Ship, we found ourselves in the system of Bilenufang. A military extraction zone, yet only about a hundred thousand population. It was strange, but my grandmother assured me that it was best if we stayed there for then. After 2 months, my grandfather came "home". I couldn't be any happier. This place was strange. Not bad. But it wasn't home. Grandpa told me that we'd only be there for a short time more before we could go back. I was skeptical, but I had no other choice to believe him.

3 years. 3 years we lived in this zone. Never fully established. But, we survived. I could tell my grandfather was calling in A LOT of favors during this time. But, finally after 3 long and boring years, we finally packed our bags and traveled back in to the Bubble. Though we didn't go back to Eta Cassiopeiae, we were back to something more comfortable.

We settled down in Harris Port in LHS 6050. It's a good place. I learned to love it there. I finished school and started working at the port loading and unloading cargo ships. Grandma went to work at a factory. Grandpa being Grandpa, hopped in his Hauler and started importing and exporting cargo.

4 Years of this. This.. living. Grandpa kept pushing me to get my Pilot's license. I was reluctant. I finally felt like I was home. I didn't want to leave. Not anytime soon. He would even offer to let me travel with him so he could show me the ropes. I would always decline. Maybe if I had gone with him the last time... Maybe he'd still be with us now.

I remember being at work when I was called into my boss' office. I was afraid that I had done something wrong. Did someone find out that me and Jerry would come back after our shift and drink alcohol until early in the morning? Did someone find out that I skipped out of work one day to "meet-up" with Ann? Whatever it had been, I know I had bad news coming.
But, when I entered the office, instead of finding an angry supervisor... I found my Grandmother. In tears. She was completely hysterical. Somehow... I knew what she was going to say. But, I still wasn't ready for it. While out on a delivery, there was an attack. His convoy was destroyed. Only one person escaped.

I couldn't believe my ears. I broke down. I was destroyed. The only father I had ever known was gone. And to what? Pirates? The Empire? Outlaws? Through all of my thoughts and internal screaming I could only make out one name... "Doc"

Legacy.

A Legacy.

What is a legacy? I'm not entirely sure most days. But, I know my Grandfather had been building his Legacy. A Symphony that would of been passed down and played from Generation to Generation. Yet, his Symphony remains unfinished. He deserved to finish it. To have it played to all. And yet.. He didn't.

For years, I've tried to do everything I can to make him proud. And yet, I felt like I was missing something. I couldn't place it. Going from Dead-End Job to Dead-End Job. Either I would just stop showing up, or I would be fired. Alcohol became my life. If I was drunk the entire time, I wouldn't think of how much of a failure I was. But, I can assuredly tell you, that in the age of question of "What's worse? The Pain? Or The Hangover" The answer is the Hangover. Because no matter how much you drink, the pain always comes back, and would be accompanied by the worse hangover. Yet, this was my life. I chose this life and that how I'd stay.

Then one morning, my Grandmother calls me. She had Pancreatic Cancer. There was no way either of us was going to be able to afford her treatments.

So. What do you do when you need to be able to pay for treatments, yet you have a dead-end job with no chance of a raise or more hours, yet you have quite a bit of Military contacts that you considered family in your back pocket?

I guess the fact that I'm sitting in my Grandfather's old Cobra Mk III, The Unreliable, and writing this may tell you everything you needed to know. I hopped on a ship to Coelho Station in Matet and taught all the basics of flying. I passed with flying colors. "Must run in the family." That's what everyone said. I don't believe it, but whatever. After gaining my license, I was quickly shuttled back home Harris Port, and now... Here I am. About to launch for the first time to deliver some data to a neighboring system. In my Grandfather's old military ship. This was his legacy. Not mine. But, I guess I have to carry it for now.

Hopefully, I can fill his shoes.

Hopefully, I can carry my adopted legacy.
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