Duty, Fulfilled. The Epilogue.
03 May 2023Meowers
I woke up in the hospital... Hah. Why is it always the hospital? I'd say you, seems like that's my personal recipe for a good story. My secret ingredient. To make sure I did everything possible, I should end up in a hospital. Maybe I could start making a hospital map? Like they do for hotels and restaurants, but for medical facilities? With some comments. "We put that mess together". "We can fix even her". "Before, after, and some photos". Hah.
Yeah, I remember waking up a few times, earlier, surrounded by beeping and whirring machinery and covered in bandages and tubes, floating in painkillers... But, obviously, they were saying me "It's not the time yet" and I was unable to move even a little bit anyway. And now, I was free to ask for my personal datapad and some tea. So I that could spend the rest of my time here fiddling with my recordings, as well as adding this epilogue part that, hah, wasn't exactly planned.
How long I've been out? Hm. Looks like about two weeks.
That's... Strange, to say the least. I can't remember the last moment when I've had a feeling such as "I like my life". Life as a whole, not some separate bright parts of it, that may even look bright only in comparison. Most of the time, I didn't like it. Sometimes, I openly hated it. But... Something, maybe something from above and beyond, kept me alive. Kept me alive through the things that could've certainly been fatal for someone else. Kept me alive when I thought about ending everything. I might be awfully bad at living, but, for some reason, I'm definitely good at surviving. And... After what happened to me, after all the decisions I've made, including those made in the last seconds, I realised, that... It's too early for me to draw a bottom line. That thing... was a semicolon in my story, rather than a full stop. I won't go until there are still some options, still some ways yet to be found.
The most recent message was from AXDF Command. They acknowledged my efforts and offered me a choice: an honourable discharge or a return to active duty after my recovery and three months' leave. Therapy and support included in both. Marshmallow has been completely repaired and, currently, she waits for me in the hangar not too far away from the hospital. So... Thinking about the latter. Yeah, I have enough time to consider, however... I'm not sure I'm going to change my mind soon. Maybe, one day, I will lay my arms down and try to adjust to... whatever people call 'a normal life'. If that's still possible. But, I know what might be happening somewhere, right in this very moment. They should try harder to get rid of me, hah.
And, another one marked 'Important', received... Looks like just a few days after the rescue.
"Hey, you!
I've contacted the AXDF carrier Atlas, one you're assigned to. Words cannot describe how much happy the reply made me, when the officer told me that you're actually alive and recovering in a hospital after the rescue operation. We're doing rather fine here. By the refugee standards. Putting our little fleet back together keeps me super occupied, even with some help from the AXDF. But, all the time, I think of you. And I will wait for a message from you, as long as needed. I'd certainly like to visit you, if that's even allowed and you don't mind me showing up. Be okay, get well, please. Also, while unpacking our bags, I've found something that belongs to you. I know this cute little thing means a lot to you and I kept it close to myself. All that time, it reminded me of you. And I'm sending it back with one of the transports. Also, our new coordinates are on the postcard, in case Marshmallow's memory got damaged. The day you return, the day I see you again, will be the brightest one.
And don't you dare risk your life like that again.
Yours, NM."
I noticed the box on the bedside table, it wasn't there the last time I was awake for a few minutes. Guess it's a proper time to open it, before writing a reply to Mion. About my return. That will certainly happen, as soon as they consider me recovered enough to leave the in-patient care. And I'm definitely going to say 'yes' to her in my reply now. I don't know where it might lead me... Though, nobody can know it. And I... want to see. We can't predict the future. However, we can try to build it. And things we dream of could be a guide. I think, those relationships... It's not a thing that I can plan on my own, we should rather build it together and make it grow with us, evolve, to fit us both.
Like, who knows? Maybe I should inform my superiors, so that they could assign me to the same settlement for an indefinite amount of time, as an adviser or instructor of sorts. I haven't seen any rules forbidding this. And even if not, and we're going to see each other only a couple of days a month, or even less... It's a new thing to me, totally. From now on, I should learn how to live, and I'll be living, knowing that... Now I have someone to live for.
I turned carefully, took the box and lifted the top cover. Along with the postcard, there was... Kittenshine.
* * *
This is it. The end of the story. Much likely, my last long story here.
Originally, I planned to finish the story with the previous part, though, after some thinking being done, I finally decided to give it, and my character, a definitive 'happy ending' instead of an open one. She deserved it. And, moreover, I've had many profound, reassuring thoughts that were important for me personally, while I've been thinking about the Epilogue and writing it. Also, I should admit... Even if named as a part of the Duty and posted as its ending, it really sounds more like an ultimate Epilogue. For all the stories I've written, combined.
And, another portion of the same disclaimer that I think should be mentioned again. This story, as said earlier, was sketched out and started before the latest game 'improvements' related to the Thargoids, and has nothing to do with them, and its timeline is placed a little back in the past, a few months ago. As mentioned in the Epilogue, the whole text of the Duty is a collection of personal logs, published by Meowers during her recovery in the hospital: the plot change I've been forced to take after several delays and due to refraining from including any new things that were introduced in-game.
This story was originally inspired by the astonishing Journey to Elysium. The Jordanna Frost Story (currently removed from this website for personal reasons), written by J-Dog162, it takes place in the same fictional version of the AXDF, and might be considered and read either as a spin-off, starting shortly after the events of her 'Causality' series, or as a standalone story. Both ways are correct. And also she has my warmest and sincere thanks for Jordanna's lines, written for the end of the #40. As well as for the X-Mas Special episode and for countless important things she said me.
Thank you, J. From my very heart. For your invaluable support, and for everything else.
And, of course, I'd like to send my heartfelt thanks to other people, to everybody who ever read my things. Kodeyne, Alysianne, OrlanLesage, Jav Marlo, TripleRazor, Creamy Goodness III, Maul Montresor, JemmaRoe74 and other people whom I know, and whom I don't know, if you're reading this right now, then, thank you. A lot.
Many different things, numerous ups and downs happened in my life during the writing and posting that took more than a year, some of them forced me to take those long delays, some of them changed my views, etc. INARA itself has become important for me in more than two years that I've been here, and, both this website and the game will always have a special place in my heart, and I don't regret a single day spent on here. Also, well, as you probably know already, I'm no professional writer and I highly doubt I'm going to become one, so, I've been using the only tool I know to make my character more 'human' and 'alive': giving her my own personal traits, projecting my self on the events of the story, seeing the imaginary world through her eyes and writing her reactions in a way that felt natural to me. Therefore, all personal reflections, experiences, ways of thinking, mental health condition effects, everything was drawn from, or have analogues or parallels in, my real world, the life I live.
So, in addition to the overall human image of my character, writing these things out helped me significantly.
With all this said, I think... I've done everything I wanted, I've told everything I wanted, and I have nothing more to add. There certainly will be more stories written by other people, and I hope they will be interesting, worthy of your attention, well made. A good contribution to the wide variety of creations, made by the community, by people who have something more to show and tell. Maybe I could play some part in that as well, who knows. And, as for me, after all the stories written in more than two years, today is a perfect day for this Epilogue.
And, again, thank you.