Drunk and Disorderly
18 Aug 2017Phelbore
The past couple weeks have been a blur. I got drunk and sold most of my ships for a Saud Kruger fleet. I still owe a couple hundred million before I can take possession of the Beluga I put 84 million down on. The sting of that drove me to the bar. I remember that much, but the rest of this tale is pieced together from security footage, fines, fees, some charges still pending and a very angry flight control crew...Apparently, when I got blackout drunk I slipped the bartender a couple thousand credits tip to sell me a couple bottles of Old Sol. I think he overcharged me on top of it, the whole evening looks like it drained 15k from my account. I couldn't have been drinking that all night, right? Then, apparently, I took the Fer De Lance out bounty hunting, because that's a good idea when you can barely walk.
I woke up to the sounds of hull repair turning my throbbing hangover into pure hell. When confronting the man, I was informed that I traded all my bounty vouchers to him in exchange for fixing my ship and not reporting my drunken state to the authorities. Judging by the damage... I bounced off the pad hard enough to drop my shields, dent the pad, collapse my gears and crumple my hull. At least I apparently didn't take down any clean ships while hunting.
I decided a nice breakfast at the bar was in order, only to find out I'm no longer welcome after emptying the contents of my stomach on the owner on my way out. This led me to the inescapable conclusion that perhaps I was visiting this bar too much. So off I went in search of a new bar. Luckily, there was one not far from there, a dive I'd avoided because it looked a bit too rough for me. But, hey, they finally managed to get that dagger out of the door, things were looking up! Breakfast consisted of "let's see what crap they didn't put up last night" and a couple glasses of "shut the fuck up and drink this" (pure ethanol in a dirty glass, I think) I was feeling pretty good.
Around that time I stumbled into my brother who suggested we pick up a couple Eagles and go canyon racing. It seemed like a good idea at the time, although I recall having to bribe the salesman to let me fly it out. Apparently leaving the station and racing went off without a hitch, however it seems my return did not... Now, I'll boost a Type-9 or Orca in or out of the slot without an issue. An Eagle will fit inside the cockpit of either of those. How the hell I tore a wing off on the grill coming back I'll never know, but at least I ejected in time.
Now, let me tell you... of all the places to wake up in an escape pod, embedded in the windshield of a System Authority Vulture has got to be among the worst. I had enough credits on hand to bribe him to lose my sobriety test, but not enough to stop him from charging me with attempted bribery, reckless flying, attacking his ship (that one got dropped), damaging to station property and failure to yield. I managed to get damaging station property dropped by paying for repairs to the Vulture and grill, footing the bill for cleanup, buying the judge's daughter an Imperial Eagle, donating a wing of Vipers to the System Authority and letting my bank account perform community service to prevent a famine. Between bribes, fines and fees I probably spent 15 million that day, and it wasn't even dinner!
So off I went to buy a new Remlock and get some dinner, which is when the trouble really started... I started at a nice restaurant with a glass of Old Sol and a nice steak. Then I wandered around until I found a bland looking little bar. Bland sounded great, I'd had enough excitement for the day. After a few drinks and a large tip, I was ushered to the back room for a game of cards. Well, it turns out this wasn't some grimy closet, no, it was a full fledged gambling den! My day was looking up!
I joined a table with some familiar voices I just couldn't place and lost a couple hands for show... then I started playing for real. And losing for real. The bastards must be cheating, two can play at that game! Long story short, if you're going to cheat at cards, don't get caught. If you do get caught, don't get caught by off duty flight controllers. I haven't been cleared to launch in two weeks. So much for replenishing my bank account...