Drunk Irishman and the Disorderly Phelbore
22 Jun 2018DRUnk 1R15HMAN
One night, while enjoying my spoils in a bar; I had stuck my dagger into the front door a few days prior, due to an argument with a rather large smuggler, in the system of Lovaroju. A man with bloodshot and frustrated eyes, sits down a few chairs down. He looks over at my drink and laughs at the actual rocks in my whiskey. “You must be the Drunk Irishman?” He commented.
“What gave me away?”
“The Rocks in your whiskey. I have heard of you and your drink. I thought it was just a joke.”
I started to laugh, “Damn bar bots. This is what happens when you replace people with AI. Before we start talking about me and my rocks, you had a hell of a night last night.”
“You saw that, huh?” Phel said as he ordered up.
“Oh, I think the whole station bore witness to your debauchery. Here, before you let that bot ruin your day with that crap it calls whiskey, try this.” I reach down into my bag and pull out a dark bottle and pour him half a glass, neat. “I make this myself. It’s an older recipe my dad taught me.”
Phel smirked taking a pull, “Does it taste better over rocks?”
“It’s so good rocks don’t hurt it.” I rose my glass in a toast.
Swirling the glass, Phel eyed the amber liquid before savouring another taste,“This is some really good stuff. Have any for sale?”
“Oh yeah! But it ain’t cheap, and after the night you had, maybe a trade is better. It seems you have a knack payin’ off yer troubles. I said over the cup raised to my lips.“I can give you 100 tonnes, in exchange for some of the knowledge on how you take advantage of the bubble.“Fill this up again and I’ll send you all the intel you’ll ever need, upon delivery of the Liquor.”
I rose my glass again, “Deal.”
Pursing his lips, Phel gave me a hard long look. I could tell he was going to ask me a question, a serious one at that. “So just what the hell did I do last night, and why didn’t anyone stop me?”
I started to laugh, “I didn’t stop you, because it was too damn funny to watch. As to what happened?” I laughed a little harder, “ I might have given you a little push over the edge..”
Phelbore wasn’t pleased. He set the glass down. “Stop being a dick, man. What did I do?”
I started chuckling again. “Lets see if we can jog your memory. A Sock, shot glasses, a multiphasic reader and a harrassed bartender...”
Phel’s face soured. “No, I didn’t?”
I nodded. “Ya, You did. Also you know the joke, where a guy walks up to the bartender completely shit faced and bets the bartender he can piss in a shot glass from the patrons side of the bar?”
Phels eyes widened, “Oh no, really? You didn’t intervene?”
I could tell he was hoping that I would say that I had intervene. He wouldn’t be disappointed, “Oh I intervened all right, I slipped you 5,000 creds and said you don’t have a hair on your ass.” I began to laugh so hard, my eyes began to water. Phel’s face flushed with pink and began to laugh equally as hard.
“ I gave you the 5,000 creds, and watched as you were asked to leave. You were going to argue but then you threw up all over. Of course the owner wasn’t pleased with the lovely aroma, and ensured that you did leave, via enforcer. You should have seen how you landed on the walk. Oh, wait! You can, I took a picture!” .”
The night continued and we exchanged stories and shared in our experiences travelling the bubble. He was easy to talk to, and I did enjoy his charming wit but like all things, I had to get going. So we left the bar and headed to our ships to make the final exchange and to set up our new working business relationship.