Hair of the Dog
26 Apr 2020Maggie Oz
"You know what your problem is?" said Roy, sitting at the table across from me, Sir Richard, the ADC, was to his left"I let you talk me into doing stupid shit too easily?" I ventured, not raising my head from my arms that were crossed on the table before me. My head still wasn't capable of being vertical.
"No it's because you haven't got legs. If you had legs you'd have more blood in your body so you'd be able to drink more"
"Or I could just not let you talk me into doing stupid shit anymore" my head was still resting on my arms, hands wrapped around my 3rd cup of coffee.
I had been ignoring Roy's calls all morning, early afternoon though he flew over from Baal to see me in person, calling ahead to have Sir Richard meet with him too.
I had initially refused to let them in the house but DAC, the house computer, let them in any way. It says it was concerned about my safety ..... I think it was concerned about its own safety.... and it is wise for it to feel that way...
"It really doesn't matter anyway" I continue, "I'm never leaving the house again... ever. I'm surprised your Senator hasn't insisted I be moved on and forbidden you to see me, lest you get tainted too"
"What ARE you on about? The Senator is chuffed with your performance"
"Whaa?" I said, peeking one eye open to look at Roy to see if he was taking the piss .... he appeared to be serious
"Oh yes, all of the business people you met with have come back with positive responses to the offers you delivered. A number of them have put you on their "A" list for their next functions, you should check your messages.
The hardliner Emperial types were terribly impressed with your spit and polish and no-nonsense way of talking. Several of them have already fought duels over you.
I have a note here from a mining platform: "Aye we'll join ye, but if ye want ta talk again send the wee lassie no' any yo other twats",
see? all great feedback"
"And the Prison Colony Governor?" I ask testily
"Oh yes we got some self-righteous rubbish from him, but as I said to you before you left it's the colonists we were interested in. Governors are just civil servants, we don't need support from them. You made quite an impression on those colonists, they now have ... something to remember you by" said Roy in a counselling manner
"Well .... two things really" quipped Sir Richard, I could hear the grin in his voice
"True ... a pair I suppose you might say, " retorted Roy, both of them revelling in my agony
"You bastards" I moan
"So there you have it Maggs, all's well that ends well hey? What do you say we get back into it, still another day or two before the election is run"
I can still hear myself saying, in a resigned tone
"Yes OK I'll get back on it tomorrow"
"That's the stuff," said Roy giving me a hug.
I couldn't help but feel I'd let him talk me into doing stupid shit again.