Staying put for now
13 May 2023Ember Lacson
We're a few hundred light years outside the Bubble, and we've decided to hole up here for a little while at the behest of...whatever entity is communicating with Nicole. The Morningstar crew is a little bit hesitant to follow the advice of a Thargoid, but if it meant us harm, it wouldn't be so adamant that we stay outside the Bubble. Nicole started having dissociative episodes after the first Maelstrom was pierced, and they got worse after the first Glaive sighting. She hasn't shared any of her recorded dreams with me since the first time she started mumbling "Stay in the black, don't come back" in her sleep. I had quite the scare the first time, because she was otherwise catatonic, and when I finally did get her to open her eyes, she kept repeating it over and over again. The panic in those eyes told me she was conscious but not in control. And she didn't regain lucidity until after I promised we'd stay in the black until further notice. We had her scanned the next morning, and they didn't find anything abnormal, but we sent her scan data off to Aegis for analysis anyway.
What troubles me the most about this is how every time I start thinking about whether we should stay out here until our planned return date or return to fight for humanity, she dissociates and this entity urges me to stay out here. And just like the first time, it doesn't relinquish control back to her unless I promise not to go back. I'm worried we'll be out here long past our original plans, and that the war will pass us by. I wish we could establish clearer communication with this entity to get some better answers, but something tells me it doesn't know much English.
My current theory is that, like humanity, the Thargoid race is no monolith. Even if they are hive-minded insectoids with no concept of individuality, there has been a lot of speculation in the past that there are multiple factions. The current consensus runs counter to this, but I'm beginning to think there is indeed a minority faction among them that opposes war with humanity. The dominant faction is not interested in diplomacy, but this hypothetical minority faction would be beholden to the majority and would have to work in secret to accomplish their diplomatic goals.
I can't help but think about what Erick Swann said before he tried to shoot me: "They spared you." It's the only explanation I have for the fact that my ship never experienced the shutdown that pretty much every other ship experienced in HIP 22460. And if the "they" who spared me are the dominant faction attacking humanity right now, why did they try to swarm and attack us as we tried to bug out? And why hasn't there been any stronger pushback against my AX efforts since then, even when I went out to Asterope to take them out on their home turf? If we could get some straight answers to these questions, I would be a lot more comfortable listening to this entity. But honestly, I don't think that will happen for some time.
I've abandoned my goal of reaching Exobiologist Elite by our anniversary, but I still want Nicole to make her first billion by then. She's done a lot of exploration and scanned a ton of plants, including a few where she got a confirmed First Footfall. Sadly no Stratum Tectonicas on those planets, but she's up by at least a couple hundred million by now, and she's been here on the carrier for a few weeks. She's ready to get back out there, but I'll be keeping close tabs on her just in case she has an episode while she's away and needs me to come get her.