The Pirates of Paresa
05 Apr 2021Tharik Otoli
The Adventures of Prince Tharik Otoli: Space PirateFollow this link for the full anthology!
PARESA
PARESA 3
AN UNDISCLOSED LOCATION
So once again dear reader we visit the Paresa system, a system that at one time the entire galaxy watched with bated breath as the Imperator threatened to upend the status quo and seize the Imperial Throne for himself, citing traditionalist views on Imperial succession. Though, as time went on, cooler heads prevailed and, in the face of the threat from the Neo Marlinists, the Treaty of Paresa was signed.
Having said that, we are not here to tell a tale of Imperial political intrigue, nor is this to be a story of a grand space battle. This is a happy occasion, a wedding in fact, as the young Imperator Hadrian Augustus Duval has chosen a bride - Astrid Minerva, an accomplished pilot in her own right, much like her new husband. Naturally many of those in Imperial high society were appalled, the "Eye on Achenar" was quoted as saying, "It’s an insult to the noble Duval bloodline when some trigger-jockey from a gutter system can sink her claws into the Emperor’s own nephew," but the gentry are typically humorless and not very much fun at parties.
Which, my friends, brings us to our story. A relatively minor Imperial Lord and master of a small mining colony, the Viceroy of Daibais, and his wife, the Vicereine, were in attendance at this grand occasion. They had brought with them an entourage of Imperial Corsairs who were somewhat out of their element, but who were also most assuredly, a great deal of fun at parties. We join our heroes at an extravagant venue during the post wedding celebration.
Lady Electra Otoli, the Vicereine of Daibais, was dressed in an elegant black evening gown with silver trim, those being the colors of the Imperial Corsairs. Draped around her neck was a shimmering necklace of Void Opals once given her by Tharik as a gift. She exclaimed, "Oh husband they make such a lovely couple. Doesn't Hadrian look dashing?" Tharik nodded without a word, not willing to revisit his wife's infatuation with the young man. Electra continued oblivious to Tharik's silent rebuke, motioning in the direction of a crowd of journalists surrounding a azure-haired woman, "Oh look! Princess Aisling is here! Do you know I met her once? Well, I mean, I shook her hand. It was in a receiving line actually."
Tharik sighed and finally spoke, "Yes, I remember my dearest. I recall the Princess winked at our young Janus." Tharik paused then gently offered, "Be sure and not recount that story here love. It's poor form and makes us look like awestruck commoners." Electra nodded.
Not far from the Otolis we find their escorts, a crowd of seemingly out of place space-pirates, whose formal uniforms were in several different states of disarray. Each of them had a hastily made ceremonial cutlass strapped to their waists, signifying their status, or lack thereof, in Imperial society. The men and one woman themselves were in varying degrees of intoxication. One of the men, a grumpy bald fart whose was in truth an esteemed Quartermaster held in high-regard among the Imperial Corsairs, turned to the woman and spoke, "Oi, Mars, didn't you and the bossman once have a thing?"
Commander Rei Hino - known by her callsign "Mars", the Black Widow of Grebegus, and once a famous Spice Smuggler - had made little effort to dress for the occasion merely draping the jacket of her formal uniform over her flight suit. She had also donned her own void opal necklace, one that she had stolen rather than having been gifted. She regarded her fellow officer, "Silence knave! Lest ye be wanting that ascot you seems incapable of tying properly shoved down yer gullet."
The bald Quartermaster smirked, "Right then, retract ye hardpoints. I's apologize."
Lieutenant Governor-General Prophika - not long ago a simple gunslinger and mercenary, and now the new penultimate leader of the Lozin system - tried his best to console, "That's very sad Miss Hino, maybe you can get yeself some fine Imperial Gentleman here? I sure would like to meet one of these Imperial ladies."
Rei Hino howled, "HAH! None of you lot would know what to do with any of them Imperial nobles, man or woman. Why don't y'all just stick to the bar wenches on Flammarion Terminal?"
The aforementioned bald Quartermaster was not to be outdone, "Oi! I once met meself an Imperial Lady!"
The third man, a Commander Zochariah Coryza, better known as Zoch, an accomplished pilot and hero of many of the Imperial Corsair's conflicts, was quick to add, "Arr! The Quartermaster did indeed! I saw it with me own two eyes! He be meeting her at that fancy bar back home on Flammarion."
The Quartermaster beemed, "Yarrr, she wanted to touch me control yoke."
Commander Hino was aghast, "WHAT?"
"Oi, on me space-ship. She ne'er seen a cockpit before," came the proud reply from the Quartermaster.
"Oh right. So that's it," inquired Mars.
The Quartermaster shuffled his feet slightly and his complexion became somewhat flushed, "Oh well..."
Commander Zoch, often referred to by his own callsign, "Sodomizer" for the obvious reasons, bellowed, "She had him lick her feet!" He laughed loudly and slapped the Quartermaster on the back momentarily attracting admonishing stares from nearby wedding guests.
Standing not far away was a Nova Navy officer that had been regarding the Corsairs. Unbeknownst to them he was actually assigned as their escort and chaperone in deference to the alliance between Nova Navy and the Imperial Corsairs. The man, a Governor Tobirama Agentas approached the group, "I must say you Corsairs are a rowdy bunch indeed! Are you enjoying yourselves?" Trailing not far behind him was a dignified gentleman dressed in an elaborate military uniform along with a stunning young woman wearing a diamond encrusted white evening gown, "Let me introduce to you Major General Stanley, of the Nova Imperium's Army."
Zoch appeared somewhat astonished, "Ye has an Army?"
The Quartermaster nudged the Lt. Governor-General and whispered, "I'll bet he's the very model of a modern Major General."
Major General Stanley was bewildered by the question itself but had been assured that the Imperial Corsairs were valued friends and so he did his best to soldier on, "Of course we have an Army. You think wars are all won in space?"
Commander Zoch once again felt the need to speak, "I wouldn't know, I only ever left me spaceship for the first time on March 29th. I mean... you can get any business done through the comms." The other corsairs shrugged, it seemed an oddly specific date to put forth, but Zoch was known to be a bit peculiar.
The Major General nodded, "Yes, well, that's very nice." He paused and motioned to the young woman accompanying him, "allow me to introduce my daughter, Lady Jessica Stanely." The young woman nodded to Commander Zoch and smiled. She curtsied slightly and presented her hand to the offbeat space-pirate, who promptly bowed deeply, reached out clasping the young Imperial lady's presented digits, and then swiftly stuck out his tongue and licked the backside of the woman's hand. Immediate and very uncomfortable silence enveloped the small crowd and those surrounding them. Stunned gasps were audible shortly thereafter. Then, quite suddenly, the silence was broken by Commander Hino.
"What the hell are you doing," she shouted. It took a great deal of restraint on her part to not tackle the deviant Corsair and beat him to death.
Zoch released the Lady's hand as she recoiled in horror, "I thought Imperial ladies wanted to be licked?"
The Quartermaster shouted, "Not in public ye space-fool!"
Zoch shouted, "Well that's good to know! Why didn't ye all tell me?" He briefly scanned the faces of those in the immediate vicinity and realized he had erred in some fashion, "Alright, let me try again? What am I supposed to do," he asked, seeming genuinely confused.
The Major General was speechless and his daughter shouted, "Well I never!"
The Quartermaster saw his opportunity, "Ever? I mean if that's the case, I have some experience with Imperial ladies..."
Fortunately, though, that was the main excitement for the valiant Imperial Corsairs that eve. They eventually all did get rather drunk and managed to not commit any further serious faux pas. As well, their company was thoroughly enjoyed by many of the Lords and Ladies present, even if they were the butt of jokes they did not understand.
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